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How can I help a quadriplegic of 24 years, be happy?

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I have been with my boyfriend for 17 years. (Not married, because I'm his caregiver, and in our state you can't work for a family member). In 1990 "John Doe" was a passenger in an automobile accident, leaving him paralyzed instantly. He is a quadriplegic. I met him in 1997. At that time he was very happy and loving. I did not give his paralasys a second thought. With in a month, I learned how to do all of the different aspects of his care, and 17 years later I'm still right by his side. I do 100% of his care by my self. I'm completely fine with that. Wether at home, or a few times he's been in the hospital, we have not been apart even 1 night in all these years. I love him with all of my heart, and wish I could make his medical problems go away, but obviously I can't. He truely is a wonderful loving person, that faces many hurdles in life. In 2010 we lost his mother, due to cancer. I also did most all of her care. Then unexpectly 6 months later, still 2010, I lost my father from a heart attack. Not to long after that his father was diagnosed with lung cancer. (That was what his mother passed away from). For his mom it was so quick. From when she had gotten her diagnoses, we lost her less than a month later. His father was the exact opposite, he received treatment. I took it all on, and to me it was a privlage to care for his mother and father. You couldn't meet any one else like them. They were perfect. With his father we had some time for treatment. I took him for his radiology chemotherapy X-rays catscans lab work, and all appt. to his primary doctor. I would do all that, and get back home to take care of my (John Doe). Unfortunately we loss him in mid 2011. This was the hardest times of our lives. " John Doe" had a great relationship with his parents. Me as well, I would do anything for them, and they would do anything for me. Since 3 loses things have not been the same. Don't get me wrong, I have many faults. "John Doe" is completely different. I understand, even without losing his parents, his daily life is extremely hard. I'm here for him everyday, and always will be. What can I do to put a smile on his face again? It's hard seeing him down, and myself knowing he's hurting everyday. Any suggestions would be appreciated. I don't want him angry, I desperately want him happy!!!

asked May 14, 2014 in Back or Spine issues by "Jane Doe"

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