Many young persons who date are not seriously thinking of marriage at present, or that they necessarily would like the person they date for a marriage partner. In most places where dating is considered to be customary, it is viewed merely as a form of recreation, a way to spend an evening or a weekend. And some persons, not wanting to be viewed as “different,” date because others their own age do. Yet, there is no question that dating can lead to “vexation,” and even “calamity.” Let’s consider why it can.
THE EFFECTS OF PHYSICAL CONTACT
9 More often than not, dating involves some physical contact—holding hands, kissing, or something beyond that. At first, just touching the other person’s hand may be very pleasurable, causing one to feel a warm glow. But after a while it may lose its thrill and may not have the same effect. Something more, such as kissing, may appeal. But, then, that too may become ordinary, even a little stale. Why is this?
10 Because where sexual passion is involved it is all part of a chain of events designed to lead to a specific outcome. The first link is the first touch. The last link is sexual relations, which God’s Word shows is reserved for marriage mates. Everything in between can lead up to that last link of the chain. So, then, if you are not married, is it wise to start with the first link, or any of the others? To do so is likely to bring “vexation.” Why? Because your body is going to get itself ready for something it should not receive now, that last link. Stimulating the desire for sexual relations but not fulfilling this desire may lead to frustration and nervous tension.
11 Fornication will not end the “vexation.” Rather, it can lead to “calamity.” How? In a number of ways. It can result in venereal disease. The girl could become pregnant, and this could pressure a couple into a marriage they really are not prepared for, adversely affecting their future happiness. Or the young man may refuse to marry the young woman, and she is then obliged to bring up the child herself with no husband. Or she may be tempted to undergo an abortion, which the Bible shows to be a form of murder. Is this not “calamity”? You may be determined that dating will not have these consequences for you. But many who were just as determined as you are have wound up facing these troubles. Really, then, the question comes back to whether you are ready for marriage or not. www.jw.org