Yesterday my ex boyfriend came over to grab his things. I gave them to him than he kissed me. I started crying, because he was my first love but I absolutely do not like or love him anymore. My reading is he was a big jerk to my family and I when I recently lost someone very close. He left me, after 2 years for another girl and left me. When he knows I have no friends. Cause before and still I'm depressed and just keep to myself And my ex and I have been done for about 3, 4 months now. Than he said he was sorry and needed to talk, I was on the bed at that time than. He talked than started touching me and I kept saying no, no, no, I don't want to do this. But it happened, I was crying when it happened, when finally I pushed him off and told him to leave. I balled all night long, and told him I hated him all night long.